By: Hana Kotb
Egyptian women have taken to Facebook to express how they’re offended by the Skyline (Memaar Al Morshedy) commercial featuring Hany Salama. They claim that it portrays women as air-headed and temperamental. When I saw these claims on my feed, I thought to myself that this is just silly. If the roles were switched, no one would have had anything to say about it. It made me realize that if this is what it’s like to be a feminist, then I don’t want want to be one, and here are three reasons why:
1- Because feminism is no longer about EQUALITY
Feminism is formally defined as “the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.” And if that was still the case, then I’d be a feminist, but rarely do I see feminism being lived out like the textbook definition of the word. Don’t get me wrong; I’m all for equal pay if a woman is doing the same job as a man (and just as good of a job). I’m all for equality, but in all honesty, most feminists are fighting for women’s superiority. Feminists will insult men, laugh at them, tweet things like “lol male tears”, and throw hissy fits when a man does the same to a woman. They celebrate women who do stereotypical “manly things”, but men who do “manly things” are said to be perpetrating “toxic masculinity.” Feminists also tend to ignore the fact there are male rape victims and that domestic violence, though considered by our society to a be a woman’s problem, is also some men’s problem. Many feminists, however, do not care about male victims. We paint men as inherently violent and women as inherently innocent, when we should be fighting against abuse in general. Equality should be our goal, not entitlement and supremacy.
2- Because women should EMPOWER other women
So-called feminists today make some woman (like me) feel less worthy. It is okay to like cooking. It is okay to take care of your husband and children. It is okay to want your boyfriend to ask for your father’s blessing before proposing to you. It is okay to believe in traditionalist values. You aren’t losing your identity through doing these things. And if men want to be the head of their households, meaning that he is the leader, provider and protector of his family, then let him be. That’s a huge responsibility I’d be glad not to take on. Not because I can’t but because I don’t need to. If you’re single, please be independent. You’re strong and more than capable. But when you get married, you don’t have to be. And that is thought of as a bad thing, when really, it’s a gift. It is a weight lifted to have a life-partner you can lean on.
3- Because I am NOT a victim
I don’t want to identify with a cause that has built its foundation on the idea that as a woman, I am a victim. Maybe decades ago, I would have had something to fight for, back when women were not allowed to vote or wear pants, but that’s not the case anymore. At least not in our society. There is no war against me. I have and will succeed in life by working hard and not by using my gender as a “get out of jail free” card.
Admittedly, there are other places in the world where women are facing a REAL war against women, including atrocities such as acid attacks for being immodestly dressed. And that’s what women (and men) should be fighting against. Not how Hany Salama bought his wife a gift and took her ice-skating to make her feel better.