Sure, Egypt may have been voted the tenth worst country for women, and some say that gender equality still has a long way to come. But what many miss is the full half of the cup. Underneath all of that pessimism is some beacon of hope for Egyptian women. There are some positive aspects to living in Egypt that most women don’t take notice of:

 

 

  1. According to popular opinion, women can’t drive

 

aw hell no

While some might consider that statement misogynistic, sexist,(and outright stupid if we’re thinking about it; the absolute worst out there are microbus drivers, and newsflash: they’re men), I see it as a get-out-of-jail free card. I say we as women can ram into as many cars as we want, bust as many rafrafs as we can, because if you’re going to call us inadequate drivers, we might as well live up to the reputation.

2. You get uncalled-for compliments every day of the week.

lovely-sarcasm

Those cynical westerners may call it verbal harassment, but why go to such extreme names? I mean really, what’s wrong with a random stranger checking you out head to toe, deciding to bestow his opinion on how you look? And it’s not like you don’t have the option to ask him to stop. Which brings us to number 3..

 

  1. If you do refuse those lovely compliments, and decide to talk back, you get some free bonus fashion tips!

 

Talk about a win win situation. If for some reason you feel weirded out by a stranger’s catcalling compliments, and decide to give him a piece of your mind, you’ll be met by some lovely suggestion as to what to wear next time so that ordeal doesn’t repeat itself. Example: For a look that says please do not harass me; Egyptians think you should go for loose fabrics that cover every inch of your body. For accessories to compliment the outfit, they suggest burying yourself two layers deep in dry cement to really finish off the look.

 

  1. You don’t need to worry about your future

obvs

 

..because it’s already planned out for you. Why go through the hassle of deciding what to do with your life anyway? Here in Egypt, everything is already set in stone the moment your mother’s sonar comes in and they realize you’re a girl. So, the plan is you’ll go into school, then through to college. During those years, you’ll begin to fulfill your one and only purpose, the search for a husband. Don’t bother excelling at your education because who cares if you carry a diploma without a ring on that finger, am I right?

Egypt also offers some helpful options to keep you in line for when you want to stray out of that plan. Just some little reminders for when you, god forbid, decide to have other ambitions than managing a household. Nice titles like me3annessa, which basically integrates the idea that there is a time bomb above every girl’s head that will explode if she doesn’t put a ring on it before her thirties.

 

  1. You get half of the same rights as your male sibling,

Which is nothing short of a blast. I mean seriously, what would we do with all that freedom, late curfews, and independence anyway? Travel abroad in the summer with my friends? No sir thank you. I’d rather stay at home.

 

  1. There is still an appreciation for old things in Egypt,

 

And by old things we mean retarded medieval ideals that still hold true in Egyptians’ minds till this day. You know, old school thoughts like male dominance, how men should get paid more, or that women aren’t smart enough to be in executive positions. Talk about nostalgia.

 

  1. We’ll save you the hassle of going into any debate related to womens’ right

giphy (1)

.. by ending the discussion with heya de 3adatna w taqaledna. Why hear a reasonable explanation as to why womens’ rights are neglected, when you can hear those lovely five words.

So there you go. Next time you rethink about leaving for a country that will give you your basic human rights, remember that Egypt is om el donia, and like all good mamas, sometimes you just have to deal with your sons’ crap till they grow up.