The whole world’s been watching the Olympics those past weeks, in awe of the athletes’ outstanding performance. And if you’re anything like me, your mind must wonder what it’s like to be one of them. Having crowds cheer for you, proudly wearing a gold medal and… stop. Just stop. There’s a reason Michael Phelps can barely keep count of his medals and you of your calories. Chances are, you and me, we weren’t meant to be Olympians. Why? Read on below. Are you guilty of doing one of these things? Now you know why.
1) You’ve been putting off going to the gym since you were born.
Here’s your thought process: During summer, you wait for winter to start on your formet el sahel. By the time it’s winter, you’re too far into formet el beyaat el shetwy to even think about going to the gym. This cycle has been repeating itself for the past decade or so. But with winter coming around in a few months, you promised yourself that this time you’ll turn yourself into a Chris Hemsworth/Cameron Diaz lookalike… Right after you’re done with that Double Big Tasty.
2) You make excuses to take out the garbage.
You think Olympians fake leg cramps like the rest of us when their mothers ask them to take out the garbage? No, they deadlift that bag (and the neighbors’ aswell), sprint outside and drop the sucker into a can with a back flip, then freestyle swim back into the house. At least that’s what I think they do.
3) To be an Olympic athlete you have to eat. A lot. (Some even average 12,000 calories a day)
..but yeah never mind. You already do that, don’t you champ? You got some of that Big Tasty sauce on your shirt by the way.
4) You are never the first one to arrive to anything…
…except maybe the open buffet at that distant relative’s wedding. If Olympians are rewarded with medals, you are rewarded with salvaging a plate of Om Ali before it runs out.
5) Most Olympians have to train up to 6 hours a day.
If you had six hours per day to spare, you’d probably use it to binge watch Friends for the seventeenth time.
6) Olympians don’t take breaks.
Meanwhile you probably napped four times in between reading this article. But hey, at least someone called them power naps to convince you you’ll somehow be more productive after you wake up. Now you can binge watch Friends, but with power.
7) Being an Olympian means having to sacrifice your social life.
This is the one I can never wrap my head around. Do you know how many 3ozoomas you’ll have to miss out on because you’re training? All that wara2 3enab, gone to waste. A tragedy if I’ve ever heard one. I mean, what’s the point of winning a medal if I won’t have any friends teasing me about it being silver instead of gold? These things are priceless.
By: Reem Adel Eid