By: Hana Kotb


Umbrellas are a sham! At least that’s my opinion, but hear me out.

There are two types of rain, and although I don’t know the fancy, technical term for each type, we can all agree that when it’s raining, it either drizzling or pouring. When it’s just a light drizzle, holding an umbrella seems a tad exaggerated. In this weather, you can carry on with whatever you had planned to do. Jogging? Refreshing. Grocery shopping? Why not! Some days, you’ll barely even notice it’s raining. What about your hair, you may ask? Good question. There’s this amazing invention called a hooded jacket. I highly recommend it.


What if it’s pouring, you may ask? Let me tell you a story of a layover I had in Amsterdam. We thought, why not extend it and make a day trip out of it! As soon as we got off the train from the airport to the city center, there was an awful rainstorm. It was in the middle of August, I should add. (Just my luck) So we went and bought one of those 10 euro umbrellas you can find in any souvenir shop, and as soon as I opened it, the wind blew so hard, it instantly broke. When I went to throw it in the trash outside the shop, I saw at least ten other umbrellas in there!


Moral of the story: most umbrellas are poorly designed and likely to break at any given moment. But more importantly, an umbrella will never keep you dry when it’s pouring outside. It might (**might**) keep the top of your head dry, but you’ll still get wet from the sides and the bottom (that’s just life!) When it’s really pouring outside, getting wet is inevitable, no matter how good your umbrella is. It’s just a piece of fabric on a stick. Don’t expect too much!


Other reasons I hate umbrellas: Opening them indoors is bad luck and opening them at all is incredibly frustrating. I’m notoriously clumsy and would poke strangers in the eye if I use one.


Convinced? Let us know!